I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Let's get the cat blown out
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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