I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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