OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
And then my night got REAL pukey
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
