I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
