Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
