i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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