okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
