(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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