I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
