Can Purell be used as lube?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
