found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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