She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
