fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
