I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
