$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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