I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
