Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
