after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
