the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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