is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
