if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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