I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
