I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
