Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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