I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
