How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
