im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
