I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
