you guys were way drunker than both of me
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Houston, we have a blender
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
