Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
