Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i came on her dog
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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