You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
