this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
