I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
