There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
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