I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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