porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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