Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
