I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
