I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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