I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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