so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
