dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
