So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
