You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
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