Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
