hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
