there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
