maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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