Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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