I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
