you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
