Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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