We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Two words: blizzard sex
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
