he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
