Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
