My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
