Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
