I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
